Collier Family Letter
7 Feb 1858

Austin 7th Feby 1858

Dear Elizabeth,

I wrote you by Col. Hicks last Tuesday and then thought it would be the last time before starting home, but as the weather is now very pretty and the roads may be getting better, a letter written to day may reach you before I do as we shall not adjourn before the 16th, and then I may have to go to Galveston.

I have nothing new since I wrote you last, my health keeps about as usual. I know from your letter of the 8th Jany, you are now beginning to look for me at home, unless you have received some of my letters informing you that we should not adjourn before the 16th inst.

On Monday last I received your letter of the 1st Jany, and one from E. J. Parsons inclosing Brother Thomes field notes & all of which had been very wet, and the writing much faded.. I have received but two letters from you and not a word from any of the rest.

I feel truely enxious to be home with you, and to see my precious little ones, and I am satisfied you all want to see me, at least if I am to judge from my own feelings, and knowing your disposition as well as I do, I feel confident that you are weary of suspence and anxiety, and even, or near given up with feelings of dispair, and are melancholy and unhappy with
A mournfull heart, an reasy to exclaim....

My heart is like a lonely bird
that sadly sings
Brooding upon her nest unheard
With folded wings.

The fever dreams that haunt my soul
Are deep and strong
For through its deep recesses roll
Such floods of song.

I strive to calm, to lull to rest
Each mournful strain
To lay the phantom in my breast
But ah! tis vain

O! in my soul too wild and strong
This gift hath grown
Bright spirit of immortal song
Take back thine own.

I see great sorrows round me cling
My years are few
And my poor hearts the sadest thing
I ever knew.

For in my thoughts the words do share
But little part
A mournful thing it is to hear
A mournful heart.

Thinking perhaps that I have forgotten you and my precious little children that are dearer to me than life its self; or perhaps worse still, you concluded that I have no wish to see you, if I think of you, or that I have lost all regard and love for you. But be your thoughts what they may, and be my conduct toward you what it may seem to you to be, I hope I still have a sense of duty toward you and my children.

And when I think of the many {?}______ of your distrusts and doubts of my sincerity and affection I want to exclaim but it seems in vain...

Thou dearest of all
O! hear me once more
I tell the same story
I have told thee before
I love thee

But love does not always afford happiness, in fact it requires other things beside love, to make contented the mind of man. Happiness depends to a great degree upon circumstances connected with our business affairs of life, but more particularly upon our confidnece in each other, and social and friendly intercourse with our fellow beings, and our duty to Creator as well as our fellow man.

My sheet is nearly full though it may not be interesting to you, but if not I can't help it. I have nothing else to write and no other to think of, save my dear ones I have left behind. Hoping this may find all well & to be able to see about the 26th or 28th inst. I remain your affectionate Husband

J. G. Collier

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(Note: this is just as it was written, spacing, etc.)

(above letter in possession of Barbara Yancey Dore, Nederland, Tx)