Food For Thought

Some people do wonderful things with leftovers. They throw them out.

If you fall on your face, don't despair. At least you are moving forward.

A bit of advice for those who are about to retire: If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everyone else is in thier 70s, 80s, or 90s. Whenever there is something to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell, "Get the Kid!!"

Most of us don't put our best foot forward until we get the other one in hot water!

This card was phoned in to a florist: "Thank you for just being you. The year you were Cleopatra, you were a mess.

Often it is cheaper to buy something than to accept it as a gift!

Those who complain about the way the ball bounces are usually the ones who dropped it.

Are you bored with your present enemies? Want to make new ones? Tell two of your women friends that they look alike.

You never realize how short a month is until you have to start to paying alimony.

The trouble with people who don't have much to say is that you have to listen so long to find out.

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

If you really want the last word in an argument, try saying, "I guess you're right."

It's a good idea to plan ahead. Remember, it wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark!

What does a wife get when her husband retires? Twice as much husband and half as much money.

Men and women spend the first half of their lives learning habits that shorten the other half.

Assume nothing. Inside every dumb blond there may be a very smart brunette.

The only thing certain about a watch with a life-time guarantee is that you'll lose it.

Thanks to the interstate highway system, it is now possible to travel coast to coast without seeing anything.

The best time to do something worthwhile is between yesterday and tomorrow.

The last word in any argument is what "I" say. Anything after that is just the beginning of another argument.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT